A Psychologist’s Simple Strategy for Stress Relief: Stop Swearing
In more than 30 years of clinical practice, I’ve met people from just about every walk of life—urban and rural, wealthy and working-class, religious and secular, professionals and laborers. Despite these differences, one theme comes up again and again: people want peace of mind.
Peace of mind can mean different things to different people, but at its core it’s about finding relief from the negative thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that weigh us down. It’s the desire to live without unnecessary inner turmoil or constant conflict with the world around us.
The search for peace of mind is nothing new. A quick glance at the self-help section of a bookstore—or a quick search online—shows just how many paths people explore: books, workshops, retreats, meditation apps, prescription medications, alcohol, cannabis, psychedelics, diets, workout routines, and more.
But sometimes the most effective changes are the small, overlooked ones. One practical step I often recommend to my patients is this: stop swearing.
It sounds simple, even trivial. But it can be surprisingly powerful. Here’s why.
Why Swearing Gets in the Way of Peace of Mind
I suggest cutting back—or even eliminating—swearing for two main reasons:
Swearing is inherently hostile. Whether we mean it or not, curse words carry aggression. That tone of hostility is at odds with the calm and clarity we associate with peace of mind.
Swearing is shorthand for something more complicated. When people say “fuck it,” it often reflects frustration, despair, or helplessness—but the words themselves don’t tell us much. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) helps unpack what’s actually going on underneath.
For example, when a patient tells me they just need to learn to say “fuck it,” I’ll ask, “What exactly is the ‘it’ you’re talking about? And what do you mean by ‘fuck’ in this context?” Most people laugh and realize they’re not sure. But when we put it into words, the meaning becomes clear: “This situation is controlling me. I’m more upset than I want to be. I need to find a way not to let it affect me so much.”
That’s something we can actually work with in therapy. “Fuck it,” on its own, doesn’t get us very far.
A Simple Task—But Not an Easy One
Breaking the swearing habit isn’t easy. It requires awareness and effort, especially if it’s part of your everyday speech. But when people commit to it, they often notice two things:
Their inner dialogue becomes less aggressive, which softens how they feel.
Their communication with others improves—because they’re forced to use more precise, thoughtful language.
And with those changes comes something most people are longing for: greater peace of mind.
Discover How Reducing Swearing Can Lower Stress, Improve Communication, and Bring Greater Peace of Mind
If you’re looking for a starting point in reducing stress, improving communication, and building a stronger sense of calm, try this as a personal experiment: spend one week noticing—and reducing—your swearing. Pay attention to what happens when you replace “fuck it” with a clearer description of what you’re feeling or needing.
You may find that this small change helps open the door to greater peace of mind.
Next Steps
If you’d like support in making changes like this—or in exploring other strategies for reducing stress and improving your well-being—I offer cognitive-behavioral therapy in Missouri, New Jersey, and through PSYPACT in participating states. You can reach me through my contact page to schedule a consultation.